Apologies.

As the title says, my apologies for not blogging sooner! Since my last post things have been a tad hectic. I started work two weeks ago, which what the boss said has been a shit past two weeks 0.o LOL, I don't think he was referring to me starting, but more to the fact that me trying to learn as fast as I can was even more stressful ontop of all the issues they have been having. But last night we were all invited to his house for after work drinks and I must say it was AMAZING! It's definitely fueled my desire to work harder, although I'm only a receptionist right now.

Things with Sammy Boy and I have most certainly improved. I had massages three nights in a row, so lucky :D Our one year anniversary is coming up real soon and I'm still not 100% on what to get him.. Guys are way too hard to buy for!

Anyway enough about my wumblebee and onto myself, since this blog is about me.. Don't worry I'm not like that all the time... *shifty eyes* I have at least seven packages on their way to me, most I will probably forget about which is always a lovely surprise to come home to! Will definitely post lots of pictures of what I receive in the next few weeks! With my second pay I have been exercising my card, he was feeling quite neglected.

 

(L-R) 2x Clairol Nice n' Easy Natural Dark Mohogany Brown Hair Dye, Kiss Nail Art Pack, Rimmel Glam Eyes Liquid Eyeliner, Australis Paparazzi Perfect High Definition Blush, Cetirizine, Rimmel Eyebrow Pencil, Mooloola Embellished Top, T2 Sencha Peach Loose Tea, Mooloola Black Ruffle Top, Ladakh Animalistic Print Skirt.

I'll do some swatches in my next post, I'm gonna go dye my hurr now! 

Love Love.

Sunshine

I found it hard coming back to post something entirely unrelated to my last post since it was so freakin' emotional.

Not to Self: Stay off Blogger while crying. Sorry for those that had to read that embarrassing release.

Since then I've seen relatively better days. Alot less crying I can assure you! As I posted a few blogs before I had some good news to share. With a high doubt that I would be accepted into Tafe to study a Certificate III in Children's Services I started my search for a job. At first it was only Casual/Part Time just incase a letter was sent out with for an offer to study. But as my doubt grew higher I assumed I had nothing to lose by just sending in resumes for appealing office jobs. A few days later I got a call asking if I would like to come in for an interview, and naturally I said yes. So I went up there nervous as Hell and did my thang... LOL jokes I'm not even sure what she saw in me. I was told their process was a 1st round of interviews followed by the 2nd and then they'd go from there. I got home at about 2:30 with a pounding headache from what I thought was mounting nerves. At about 3pm I got a call asking for a second interview! So the following Monday I went in after we'd dropped Mum off at the airport and she went over some details with me about times, pay, holidays and what not.. I arrived home and assumed if I hadn't gotten a call at around 3pm again that there was a chance I would have been unsuccessful. So I had a nap for about an hour and I still received no call until around 4o'clock.

She called to ask me if I would like to join the team! And so out of 100+ applicants, they chose me! I start next Monday and I'm quite excited to be able to get back into the online shopping game, something I do oh so well. And I found out on the Sunday before my second interview I actually had an offer of place to study my Cert III!

So onto much brighter days and much more positive thinking.

Foolish

 

The best way to spend your 9 month anniversary.

 

"See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin' while I'm with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on runnin' back to you"

I've had a terrible weekend. The past few weeks have been really rocky relationship-wise.

It's been back and forth between sweet words and harsh fights. It brings tears to my eyes just writing about it, I'm not entirely sure why. It might be from the disappointment I find after getting my hopes up. Or the insecurities I feel after every fight. I can't hold a grudge, no matter how much he deserves it. And he deserves it big time. I feel like it will make me look bad and make him think "well if she can treat me like this I can find somebody better." So I'll always ask for forgiveness as if I'm in the wrong, when that is rarely the case.

"Baby, I don't know why ya treatin' me so bad
You said you loved me, no one above me and I was all you had
And though my heart is eating for you, I can't stop cryin'
I don't know how I allow you to treat me this way yet still I stay?"

"Baby, I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone and you are always gone
And boy, you know I really love you, I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
After all these years?"

I'm wrapped so tightly around his finger, we both know it. I used to be so strong and guarded, whereas these days I can't even bare to glance at my reflection. I'm so ashamed of how weak I've become. I try act strong but I find myself running back to him.

I know we've had some amazing times, and there was a reason we met in Bali. But if I had known that things would reveal to this back then, I would have stayed clear of his path. Months ago I was sure this was the person for me. My Prince Charming that I'd spend Happily Ever After with. These days it's like making exceptions for a toad.

He used to call me beautiful, and by the look in his eyes it felt like he truly meant it. He used to want to kiss me and touch my skin and hold my hand in public, without a care of who was looking. He used to put me first.

Now it's a subtle complement. There's nothing in his eyes to even fathom a thought that he means it like he used to. Now it's one soft kiss, if it ever comes to kissing and touching it's for a certain reason and in private. I now find myself putting him before everything and him taking both myself and what I do for granted.

"See, when I get the strength to leave you
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak 'cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change
Never gonna change, never gonna change"

No matter what I do he's the first person I think of. If I have a snack I'll give it to him. If I have the last of my money and he asks for it, I'll give it to him.Whenever he comes over there's always water waiting for him, and I'll make tea/food if he asks for it. The fan is always plugged in incase it gets too hot for him, although I'm constantly cold. He gets the pillow I used to use because he finds it the most comfortable. I'll sleep at his house a majority of the time because he's more comfortable with it. If he asks for a massage he knows I won't turn him down. If he asks for a sexual favour, he knows I will rarely tell him to get f*cked. I've lost friends for him. I do all these things because I want to be as selfless as I can so that he won't want to look for somebody else. Lately though, it feels as if he is looking elsewhere regardless of my actions. It's in my gut but without anyway to prove it, there isn't much I can do.

"Baby why you hurt me, leave me and desert me?
Boy, I gave you all my heart and all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window, knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags this something always hold me back."

I have to ask for a massage from him, although he knows he should offer them to me considering our personal circumstances. There are times where yes, he does think of me.. But sometimes I feel the relationship is based on how my being with him effects him, and himself being in control of the relationship, rather than how we make each other feel and being together as you do in a relationship.

 

I honestly do not know anymore.

"I've learnt to expect nothing from people, so that anything is at least something."

Wouldn't have thought I'd be the person to create that 'quote,' especially looking back on it from where I am now. Lyrics from 'Foolish' - Ashanti.

Dying

This has been my life for the past week.

My boyfriend deemed in necessary NOT to tell me about his flu/chest infection..

Although yes it was my fault too. Friday he seemed absolutely fine then Saturday night his voice was all raspy but that's because he came to my house really drunk and I assumed it was from the alcohol & cigarettes..

Yeah I'm a smart one.

Don't worry I won't die, 4 of the pills are vitamins..
Tryna get on that "healthy from the inside" regime.

Almost better though!

But before I got sick, I got blessed with something, I'll let you's know soon!

Me Me Me.

Had to steal this from one of the beautiful ladies I follow, see the original here.

I am... Sometimes insecure.
I want... Success.. In everything.
I wish... I had a big house and big car!
I have... priority problems.

I dislike... Self-Absorbed people. And Listerine.
I hate... Hate.
I fear... Failing others.
I hear... The clock ticking..

I miss... Spoiling myself.
I search... For unknown answers to unknown questions.
I wonder... What my kids will look like.
I regret... Dropping out of school.
I love... My family, boyfriend, animals and sister in law included!
I ache... After my Urticaria (Hives) comes up, especially on my eyes :(
I always... Want more.

I usually...Find myself back on Facebook.
I am not... That pretty.
I dance... Like Beyonce.. In my head.
I sing... Although I'm not good at it.

I never...Try follow what others do.
I sometimes... Have anxiety attacks.
I cry...When I have anxiety attacks.
I am not always...Organized/On time.
I lose... EVERYTHING!

I am confused... When people talk too fast about themselves.
I need... To get my sh*t together.
I should... Start saving my money.

I shouldn't... Take people for granted.

Place of Love

Three days of pure bliss. Peace and quiet, South West W.A is like a sanctuary. Didn’t bring my ID so we couldn’t do any winery tours but were planning for it the next time we go in the Spring.

I took a heap of photos from 3 different cameras so there’s all different qualities, but even with my new camera they did no justice to how beautiful the scenery was. Most are of the beach since all we did was climb the huge rocks, which was extremely mentally and physically exhausting. Especially when the wind almost blows you over whenever you try jump to the next rock because you’re a little Asian girl :(

 McD's to get us started.. By that I mean me started on falling asleep while Sam drives.

 

Bubblegum icecream at Busselton Jetty!

 The fish I caught with my pink rod, I let the little fishy go!

 

 Not entirely sure why his hand was there 0.o

Drinking wine in my snuggie! 

 

Squid Lips – One of WA’s top 5 Best Fish and Chips

So on Friday afternoon we weren’t too sure about what we should eat.. There was a small book of assorted menus in our chalet and we found an unusual flyer called Squid Lips. I laughed my high pitched, open mouthed laugh when I saw the name, but we decided to pursue it. The place is well done up for a fish and chip shop. HUGE timber feature table, and nice dark purple walls. Other than their fast and friendly service that was probably the only good thing about Squid Lips, in my opinion. We ordered;

2x Snapper & Chips ($15each)

6x Potato Scallops (on a mission to find THE BEST one) ($1.70each)

Squid Lip’s Famous Lemon Pepper Fried Squid Box in Medium (Also comes in Salt Pepper Fried Squid) (Around $16-$17)

Tartare Sauce

All up it cost us $57 something dollars. Now Sam and I don’t mind dishing out a bit of money, as long as they’re able to dish out a good quality meal. As soon as we got in the car and onto the road we pulled out the Squid Box, it smelt amazing! It was hot and it tasted SO yummy, but Sam told me to put it away before we eat it all. We got to the Chalet and pulled out everything to serve, and so it began. They use 100%% Rice Bran Oil, which Sam found favouring, I however did not. The Snapper was nice but I found there was too much batter, which left it much too oily. The chips were average frozen ones you’d find in a lot of places, and the Potato Scallops were a definite no0-go for me. They had a starchy taste to it and were very dry. Usually with my Potato Scallops I find them very enjoyable, but these I did not. I couldn’t even manage one alone. 

And now onto their Famous Squid Box. That would have been the best thing we had out of everything. But they did go cold really fast and soon the batter turned soggy from the lemon.

I was let down by this shop being one of the Top 5 in Western Australia. I don’t think it would even be worth trying again for the price we paid. Since Sam used to work at Kailis he knows the rough prices fish are bought and sold at, and he said the person who owns the place is raping everyone’s wallets. We sat down to relax and about 10 minutes after we both felt like we were going to be sick, I thought it was probably from the amount of oiliness. It just goes to show you shouldn’t believe what everybody says, even if they are a renound food critic.

Peko Peko

This place is the first you see when you turn into Dunsborough Town Central Shopping Centre Thing.  They don’t have a driveway but a gravel road parking space which I will take into account later, but we walked in thinking it would be a small sushi takeaway place.. How wrong were we! We walked in and a small (half?) Asian girl greeted us with the cutest accent. She asked us if we had ever been to Peko Peko before and then led us through all the prices, information about their produce and specials. All of their Sushi/Sashimi is made every morning with all fresh ingredients and I read on their board it is all organic or something, I can’t quite remember. The special of the day was soup and half a sushi roll or a single fresh spring roll for $10, so we decided to go with that. She gave us a tester of each soup which I can’t remember the names! But we went for the Pumpkin and Cucumber I think if that’s the taste I remember. All of them were miso based and OMG they were to die for! Sadly I didn’t drink all of mine because the fresh chicken spring roll I bought was so filling! Sam got the teriyaki chicken sushi roll which he didn’t leave me to try! We also bought a sashimi pack since Sam had never tried raw salmon or tuna, and 5 Mighty Leaf tea sachets. When we left I took a photo and was holding the soup (which they put in coffee cups and then into large egg carton looking holders), then Sam reversed but didn’t realise I hadn’t put my seatbelt on, and we reversed into a pothole ditch, causing the HOT soup to spill. That was the biggest fight we had.. over soup and seatbelts and potholes. I actually swore and we didn’t talk the whole way back to the Chalet.. LOL!

All together it came to $40 something together with our drinks, and I would definitely love to go there again! Their service was impeccable, she was so helpful and friendly! The food was seriously so delicious and fresh and for what we ordered it was a fair price. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS PLACE!

Birthday

Another chapter come and gone.. Goodbye eighteen!

Didn’t do a whole lot for my birthday, mum was away at work last week so the weekend before she left I took a few friends to the Casino, sadly I didn’t take any photos. The day of my birthday a friend came around asking to borrow clothes for HER birthday, I was the least bi

t impressed so before she arrived I hid a vast majority of my newest/nicest clothes, she is two sizes larger than me (although somehow seems totally convinced she is NOT!) anyway, but the story about that individual is for another time. This weekend just passed however, Sam took me down to Yallingup, the Aboriginal meaning for “The Place of Love.” I’ll do another post with all the photos I took.

My last year as a ‘teen..’ And I STILL haven’t got my act together. Can’t really say I’m trying either.. But fingers crossed things start going my way so I can go back to doing me, I miss spoiling myself SOOOOO much!

I got two more charms to add to my Pandora bracelet, one from my dear friend Jayde (she bought me the 'luck' charm) and the other from Sam’s mum.

She bought the ‘S’ for Sam, kind of cheesy but so cute!

Apart from that I didn’t get too much else but some $$.. Although my biscuithead Steph did buy tickets to the midnight screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part. 2, which we do plan to dress up for since it is the very last one. I’m thinking maybe a grey cape, jeans, spectacles, and a beret? Cannot forget a wand!

 

The birthday cake Sam surprised me with.. He said he asked for Caramel but the Asian lady said according to him “That what you order” LOL.. I found it funny yet cute he bought me a love heart shaped cake.