Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bali - Part Due`

If I could use on sentence to sum up my whole holiday, it would be;

Bali changed everything.

Upon returning home mid September, I seriously thought it was a confusing, messed up experience while I was having the time of my life. I look back on it now, two months later, and I realised it was the most amazing holiday I could have had.

Sure, my best friend and I may have had our differences and fought more than I'd care to say, but if I had never of been on that trip, I wouldn't have ever met him.

I knew him from friends of friends, but I had never really talked to him.
What happened in Bali was somewhat messy and I did keep thinking I would regret it, but if I ever had the first time we got together, I wouldn't have gone back the second.

I thought it would just be some holiday thing, but two months later, what do you know?

He has flaws, as everyone else does. And people never would have expected a relationship out of us, but everything happens for a reason. And as I said before, Bali changed everything. Nothing can compare to spending time with him anymore. Nights out in sweaty clubs don't even measure up to being curled up in his arms.

Early days still, I know. But when something feels this good, you don't let go without a fight. If I had never met him, I never would have realised how uncomplicated love really is.

Bali - Part Uno.

No need for talking just yet.
Part Due` coming up next!

Saturday, August 21, 2010


 I've taken my life for granted so many times before.

I, along with many others as I would like to think, never really take into account how blessed we really are to live (all the while ghetto) in a safe, somewhat secure house, with running water and electricity. That I have a double bed all to myself with soft, warm pillows, throws and teddies. I am working in retail at minimum wage and while I hate it, I know it is just so much better than Asian babies slaving hard over all your fake Louis Vuitton bags. I have hundreds of pieces of clothing, some of those I haven't even worn yet. I have the opportunity to breeze into a University Pathway because of my stubbornness of not committing through Years 11 & 12 which I realise now were too easy because of 1) teachers and the staff seriously gave me so much slack, and 2) all I had to do was rock up to school, sit there and listen, write some shit down, and go home. Yes, I do regret leaving school, but I know that during that time, even sometime before I was what I think as depressed. I never wanted to get out of bed, and on those solemn days I did get up and go to school for a full day, I never wanted to come back home. I considered suicide more than once. I always used to and to this very day still think that moving far away and just starting fresh would help so much. I could forget about all those mistakes I've made and friends I've put so much of a burden on that I seriously wonder what they could possibly see in someone like myself to make them stay around.

My Mother Dearest basically grew up an orphan. Her Mother died when she was 9 months old, and her Father died when she was 8 or 9. I couldn't even begin to fathom life without my parents in it. Nobody to guide me, support me, and pick me up when I'm at my lowest, or at the Train Station.

I have been trying so hard to not take my life for granted, but it really is harder said than done.

So let us celebrate today! The life we have could be gone and forgotten tomorrow.

Love Love,
xo ♥

I now leave you with just a few of my Life in Pictures Shit.

this girl right here, she's a class of her own. it's been 4 years worth of
crazy fall outs and "reunions" but i am proud to say she is one of my besties.
We have had our fair share of crazy times. She brings out the best of the worst
in me but I have to admit that I love it.
I'll be flying out to Bali with this bitch at the end of the month
(that is if I get my passport on time!), and oh the adventures we will have!

In the next few post I will show you some more of my beautiful bitches,
and go waaaaay more in depth just cause they deserve it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Yo wasserp?

No, I do not talk like that. Usually.
My name is Jessica Howard, I live on the beautiful Western Coast of beautiful Australia and I've only just turned eighteen. I haven't really done this blogging thing before, but there's a first for everything right?

So about me. I'm half Thai/Australian. I work in retail, yes it sucks balls. I'm hoping to fall back into study or finalize all enrolments by the ened of '10. Looking to study in Nursing or Teaching, although over the few years I've developed a dtrong sense of love/obsession for anything Beauty. Excluding the whole hair removal subject.

I adore anything kawaii, and anything remotely strange yet cute looking seems to fascinate me. I've also become a strong writer over three years, something I'd never ever think possible. I use to absolutely loathe being made to write a story or write in my journal by my teachers. These days it does depend on my mood, but there's something about just sitting in front of the screen tapping away at my keyboard creating something totally inspired by my emotions.

I have absolutely amazing friends no matter how much some may blabber on ;) They've stuck by me when the world turns cruel, and as many times as I've expected them to just drop me and walk away, they've proved their loyalty and stuck by me, picking up peices of myself I leave behind.

Speaking of loyalty, I find it is an absolute must in any sort of relationship. That along with trust and communication. Have you ever found a partnership to work out if either is shy, cheating, or paranoid? Yeah naarh I don't think so!

But maybe that's the reason I'm still single. I seem to think it's from trusting too easily, and trying as hard as possible not too come off shy, resulting in a relationship looking forced. Loyalty though, you can count on me probably 98% of the time.

Sometimes, when my life gets a little too hectic for my liking, I take a few steps back and just realise how ungrateful I am for my life and those little luxuries I get to indulge myself in. I don't have everything I want in life yet, but I have all I need at the moment.

This is me, take it or leave it. This is the start of you, experiencing my life through my words. I'll take you on a mother effer of a ride, so fasten your seat belts bitches!

Talk to y'all haterz later.